substitutes.

If I were to chart my emotional status within a 24-hour period, the graph would look like I don’t know, a wildly erratic series of peaks and troughs? I woke up upset in the morning, went shopping and bought a nice top and a pencil skirt, felt better, went for class, felt bad again, cooked a really nice dinner, felt good again, after dinner watched a movie, got upset again, then managed to gorge myself with half a box of vanilla ice cream that isn’t even mine. I don’t do things by half measures. Once I start eating, I can’t stop. I eat when I am upset or feeling low, it gives me a temporary high. Sugar rush sugar rush! The same goes for buying stuff. Instant gratification at its best. I can’t buy happiness but I can buy myself a nice cosy hole to bury myself in together with all the stuff I have accumulated. The search for happiness is futile and indeed pointless so I shall stop trying. There are substitutes.