monsters in the night.

Stand and face the monsters head on; nobody can make them go away but yourself. Because only you know what they are made of.

morning commute.

Because I never bother to change the songs on my pendrive in my car, the same old songs have been on constant rotation. The most peaceful part of my weekday routine is the drive to work every morning. I’m sleepy and a wee bit grouchy usually but the music makes it better. If you see this crazy chick mouthing the words to some random song on your daily commute to work, ignore her ya. She’s destressing.

U2’s Love and Peace or Else is one of my favorites to scream sing along too. especially this part:

Lay down
Lay down your guns
All your daughters of Zion
All your Abraham sons

I don’t know if I can make it
I’m not easy on my knees
Here’s my heart and you can break it
I need some release, release, release

Death Cab is on constant rotation, as are Kings of Leon, the sole Snow Patrol song in the mix is the one from the previous post You Could Be Happy. The jazzy bluesy stuff is reserved for the drive home, when I’m stuck in the stupid jam heading out of the hospital compound.

Currently re-reading Time Traveller’s Wife. Still as good the n-th time around. Improbable and complex and confusing as the plot is, there are stories that I am able to identify with strongly and this is one of them. In this case, it’s the central theme of predestiny and waiting and love found and lost that I can relate to.

**********

Silence.

I want to lock myself in a soundproof room and scream and smash things and vent my silent frustration.

Failing that I’d settle for a quiet holiday lying on the beach reading a book with absolutely no one around to bother me or force me to make inane conversation.

Control. It’s all about feeling in control. I can do this. I am the master of my fate.

you could be happy.

More than anything

I want to see you go

Take a glorious bite

Out of the whole world

~ Snow Patrol~

Bah I hate having to shower after 930.

Not happy.

Blue elephant.

Let’s pretend the blue elephant is not in the room, shall we? I can live with half-truths. Dried-up and dessicated. I am pretending I can’t see the blue elephant even though it’s taking up half the room.
Shhh be quiet, don’t wake up the blue elephant he’ll trample you to death.

There is a special place in hell reserved for people like you.

640am

it’s 640am so forgive me if i ramble. it’s one of those mornings when i prefer the solitude of my room to well, the silence at the breakfast table.

is the ostrich head in sand ploy such a good idea after all? sure, i can ignore things while they’re happening, but i’ve got to pull my head back out to breathe once in a while don’t i? the aftermath wouldn’t be pretty to see i’m sure. but the ostrich ploy is keeping me sane, keeping me reasonably happy, keeping me together. so perhaps i shouldn’t give it up just yet.

it’s a half-day at work today, followed by a return at the ungodly hour of 10pm to work till the even ungodlier hour of 730am Thursday morning. it’s my first night shift of my 6-year government tenure, let’s hope everything goes smoothly.

weekend. summary.

I’m recycling post titles, so sue me.

It was a good weekend overall. Good times, good friends, no fighting, no drama.

I’m pleased to announce that Mission Zooey Deschanel(Hair) has been very successfully completed (minus the bangs)!! Yay! I love the way it turned out, more Zooey Deschanel and no Jap girl resemblance whatsoever. The only thing left to do now is colour it, a decision which I was not prepared to make on Saturday. In case you haven’t noticed, Zooey Deschanel is my new girl-crush, and has been since I saw her in Giant (Glassgow last hurrah).  Most people will know her from 500 Days of Summer. I’m trying to emulate her style, albeit rather unsuccessfully. I like that she’s quirky and sexy and pretty and interesting. I’d take quirky and interesting over just plain hot any day.

Pictures for inspiration

Oh btw, since I love my hair so much now, I’ve definitely got to give credit to my stylist Rick from Ray’s Couture Salon (Jalan Song) who patiently led me through the perming process and listened to all my neurotic ramblings AND helped me choose the exact type of perm that would give me the kind of result I wanted. *I did the Ladies Perm, a softer, more natural sort of perm. I used the voucher from My Privilege Book so it only cost me RM160. Girls, if you’re looking to get your hair permed for the first time, I’d definitely recommend this place and this stylist.

Mission Complete Clinical LogBook and Case Reports has failed miserably though. I did nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G even slightly resembling work the whole weeked. Didn’t even try. Decided screw it, I was so burnt out from the last two weeks that I decided screw it, I’m not going to do anything.

two weeks. summary.

It was almost like you never left. The best friendships are like that, are they not? Glad to see you’re still the same irreverent straight-talking you.

It’s been a hectic two weeks. One of which was spent suffering from severe holiday withdrawal. The weather’s not helping. When will this damn rain stop? It just keeps pouring and dripping and halfway in between. Make up your mind damn raingod.

Nonetheless, three out of the required 10 presentations are over and done with. One of out three was done rather well. I’ve got an almost-three months of PRP year done with, with an almost-nine month countdown to kick off. The numbers are looking good.

On a more frivolous note, since I am sick of work and doom and gloom, I celebrated the end of the last two weeks by going shopping. It was a toss up between shopping and a movie but in the end the movie lose out because I didn’t feel like queuing up at MBO. I went to this obscure little boutique that I’m rather fond of because even though the 99% of the clothes are absolute trash, I can usually score that one dress or top that makes my day. I bought a very pretty strapless, two-toned dress in a very interesting stained glass-ish print on my last trip there. This trip yielded one dress in slate grey and one normal knitted top in teal. The dress fits perfectly, and has little pockets, though I’m not too thrilled about the colour, I figured that I could always add colour with ascessories. The top is very simple, but the buttoned sleeves and the batwing sleeves give it some character. I’m on the look-out for affordable heels in mustard yellow or an interesting texture, preferably with thick straps or peep-toes. After the impromptu shopping trip, I came home, had dinner then promptly zonked out at around 9pm and never regained consciousness until 6am. Blergh, I hadn’t even bathed. Guess my body has been more sleep-deprived than I thought.

Ooo, and I made an appointment to get my hair curled this Saturday. I’m aiming for more Zooey Deschanel and less Jap girl, keeping my fingers crossed that it turns out all right. But it still remains to see whether I chicken out at the end.

There’s supposed to be the requisitory “Best of 2009″ post coming up but we’ll see. In the meantime, these are two random pictures modified with the really cool MoreLomo iPhone app. The first one was taken at the traffic light near SGH, the second one is a rather eerie depiction of the empty corridor in the sterile complex.